Sep 12 2008
Kohane’s Wish
Title: Kohane’s Wish
Author: dorrie6
Fandom: xxxHolic
Pairing: Doumeki/Watanuki
Rating: G
Disclaimer: The characters and universe presented in this story belong to CLAMP.
Summary: Watanuki wants to pay for Kohane’s wish, but the price is more than he expected.
Notes: This grew from a spark in my brain, lit by chapter 153 of the manga, which I just read today. Includes vague spoilers for that chapter. Also, I am probably very unfair to Kohane-chan, poor thing.
*****
Kohane’s Wish
“That girl… you’ve let her in the shop.”
“She must have a wish.”
*****
“There must be some way I can pay for it,” Watanuki said, trying to keep his voice quiet enough not to be heard in the next room. He glanced behind him at Doumeki, who nodded and slid the doors of the room completely shut. Watanuki continued. “Yuuko-san, I have to help Kohane-chan.” He frowned, running a shaky hand through his hair. “She doesn’t have anyone else.”
It took Yuuko a long time to answer.
“There’s only one thing you have that is valuable enough to pay for a wish like this,” she said, finally, with an unusual softness.
Watanuki shook his head, protesting. “There’s nothing I have that could possibly be more valuable–”
“Your most important relationship,” Yuuko said.
Watanuki blinked. “What?”
“A wish like this would cost you your most important relationship,” she repeated.
“Like Syaoran’s wish,” Watanuki said, frowning. “But I don’t have a relationship like that.”
“Don’t you?” The softness in Yuuko’s voice was gone.
The doors behind him slid open and shut again with a soft tap. Watanuki and Yuuko were alone in the room.
“Don’t you think you should go after him?” Yuuko asked, her face expressionless. “He’s probably upset.”
“What?” Watanuki felt a shiver run up his spine. “You mean…” he swallowed hard, but his throat was completely dry. “Him?”
“He may have left the shop by now,” she said. “You should probably hurry.”
Watanuki’s head was spinning, and for a moment he felt that familiar sensation of falling into a dream. “No!” he whispered sharply to himself, shaking his head.
His feet were already moving out the door and down the hall, but it seemed to take forever to get anywhere, like he was running through a thick syrup. Finally he reached the front hall, and suddenly he was able to run. The door was right in front of him before he even realized it, and he banged his elbow as he burst his way outside, panting.
Doumeki was sitting at the edge of the porch, staring at the ground.
“Doumeki,” Watanuki said, rubbing at his elbow.
Doumeki didn’t move. “Why haven’t you paid it yet?” he said.
“What?” Watanuki stared.
“The price,” Doumeki said, his voice flat. “If you’d paid the price, I don’t think you’d be here. So you must not have paid it yet.” He still hadn’t moved, not even to look up, but his shoulders tensed. “Why?”
“I–” Watanuki stopped. Why? Why was he standing here, instead of helping Kohane-chan? His heart was pounding loudly in his ears, and nothing made sense, or at least not the sense he was used to. His head was dizzy with a strange combination of terror and relief, and it was as he tried to reconcile these truly insane feelings that he heard himself say, “I don’t think I want to.” His hand flew up to cover his mouth, but it was too late. The world went suddenly quiet.
Doumeki was very still. “Why not?”
Watanuki took a deep breath, his mind swimming, but the words seemed to form themselves.
“I don’t think I can bear to give up something I’ve only just discovered for myself,” he said.
Doumeki finally turned to look at him. “You’re… not going to pay it?”
“That’s what I just said,” Watanuki said. He moved toward Doumeki and sat down next to him, avoiding his eyes. “I don’t know what it means or… anything really.” A strange, shaky sort of laugh bubbled out of his chest, nearly choking him. “But I can’t pay it,” he said. His hands clutched the edge of the porch as he waited for Doumeki to say something.
“What will Kohane-chan do?” Doumeki finally asked.
Watanuki frowned. “I don’t know.”
“You’re really not going to pay?” Doumeki’s voice broke a little on the last word.
Watanuki tightened his fists, fingernails digging into wood. “LOOK IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF–”
“No,” Doumeki said, all trace of unsteadiness gone. “Not again.”
“Okay, then,” Watanuki said with a huff.
“Okay,” Doumeki said.
They sat there in silence for a while, gazing into the yard, the evening breeze playing in the wind-chimes above their heads, and Watanuki felt a kind of quiet that he couldn’t remember feeling really ever, not that there was much of his memory left to search. He shivered a little as the light dimmed, and he felt Doumeki’s arm shift closer to him, not touching, but sharing its warmth.
As the sun faded completely from the sky, Watanuki felt a pang of guilt for those still inside.
“I’m going to make some tea,” he said, pushing himself to his feet. “Would you like some?”
Doumeki frowned. “Are there cakes?”
“ARE THERE WHAT?” Watanuki asked, wincing as he hit his elbow again on the post next to him. The pain shook his balance out of whack, and he scowled.
“Little cakes,” Doumeki said, standing up and reaching his hand out to steady Watanuki. “To go with the tea.”
Watnuki felt the blood rushing to his face as he wrenched himself free from Doumeki’s hand. “LOOK, I OFFERED YOU TEA! ISN’T THAT ENOUGH FOR ANYONE, YOU UNGRATEFUL OAF?” He turned sharply and headed into the house.
Doumeki was right behind him. “So there aren’t any cakes?”
“OF COURSE THERE ARE, BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” Watanuki raged. “WHERE DO YOU GET THE IDEA THAT YOU SHOULD BE OFFERED CAKES?” His arms were flailing above his head as he barreled through the hall. “ACCEPTING WHAT YOU’RE OFFERED IS THE POLITE THING TO DO, BUT OF COURSE SOMEONE LIKE YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT!” The door kitchen door slammed behind them. “THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF CAKES, BUT I’M ONLY GIVING YOU ONE! PUT THAT DOWN!”
*****
“Do you have a wish, Kohane-chan?” Yuuko asked.
Kohane’s mouth twisted as her eyes wandered to the ruckus in the kitchen. She frowned. “Not today.”
*****
Quote at the beginning from xxxHolic Chapter 153 by CLAMP, translation by cnet128.